Day 60

Our February family photo. Ideally, so much of my head and my weird hair wouldn’t be in this shot! But we took one and were done, and I kind of like its home-grown charm as-is.

Day 59

Jude is chronically lazy. More so than the usual cat. And when he sleeps, it’s usually in some bodacious position—like this, which we call The Dead Bug. He also does The Mermaid, The Priest, The Rolly-Polly, and a few others. I’m definitely going to be peppering more of these posts with pictures of him in his various slumbering states. Oh—and the laundry around him was warm and clean right from the dryer. He was very, very happy.

Day 58

It was unbelievably warm a few days here and there this month. I love the way the gauzy curtains blow in the warm breeze when we open the windows. The day of this photo, the temp outside was 82.

Day 57

I took this photo the day of Phill’s surgery. My dear friend and neighbor, Mandy, watched Savvy for me while I took Phill to the hospital in Ft. Worth. I brought Mandy white daisies when I came back, because I just felt really grateful. Savvy saw them and went ga-ga over them, and Mandy sent her home with some! Very indicative of how generous and loving she is. Throughout the day of Phill’s surgery, we had help and prayers from all corners—another friend watched all THREE kids along with her darling newborn while I picked up Phill, and I felt the prayers of loved ones everywhere while driving back and forth that day, getting medicines, doing the normal daily routine, and finally putting us all to bed that night. I think about the miraculous nature of that day every time I glance at these pretty things on my kitchen table.

Day 56

that blue sweater is mine—a 3/4 sleeve-length sweater. I’m really too big for it anymore, but I’m still so hopeful that I’ll trim down, and I still wear it here and there. But honestly, it fits her better than it does me. This Sunday (that I took the picture), she just looked so soft and beautiful to me, and vaguely Alice-in-Wonderland-esque. I HAD to record it. Also, I wish her shoes came in an adult size. I LOVE them.

Day 55

This is what a typical sleep-in morning looks like. Olive curled up in the warmest spot she can find, Savvy in between me and Phill. We’re not sick of it yet. In fact, these days she ends up going back to her bed on her own, because she gets tired of trying to get comfy between to adults. So we’re cherishing the time while it lasts.

Day 54

    The last week or so has been a little less-than-stellar for us. The kids are working on listening, Phill had his surgery,    and I find myself feeling rather defeated/tired/annoyed/overwhelmed more than usual. Perhaps we’re just having an off-kilter phase. In any case, I think we’re on the upswing; I have plans for scripture-reading and productivity tomorrow that I hope will chase away the mild gloom that seems to have settled over us. Tonight I doled out my least-favorite of all discipline: I took away Reed’s privilege of a bedtime reading. We had agreed (Phill and I) that it wasn’t something up for loss or gain—that we wanted to always read to them at night—but tonight, well, I’d had it. And I couldn’t think of anything else. And though I was relatively calm, I regretted the fact that I’d gone back on my word and revoked that special privilege from Reed. (Though I felt mixed about it, too—like I just didn’t know what else to do to convince him that good behavior is the way to go….?) Anyway. Phill talked to him so kindly, so gently, and so thoroughly while I gathered my wits about me—something I’m so grateful for, because I just don’t think I had it in me! Afterwards, I was out here at the desk trying not to feel guilty. A long while later, Reed came out with a smile and this letter. It’s strange and amazing to me that he knew I was feeling a general sense of being overwhelmed—that it wasn’t just about the discipline, but about my overall feeling of being at a loss. So this letter is evidence of his incredible tuition and compassion, and it made me feel that maybe, even with all this indecision/inconsistency/frustration we’re experiencing with regard to teaching good behavior to the kids, they’re learning—still—and we have some incredible children entrusted to us.

Translation of Reed’s phonetic (and tired, punctuation-free) writing:

Dear Mom,

You are the best ever. You do my laundry, bring me to school. You are always there for me. I love you so much. You do great things and you always make a difference in my hard times. You are the lady of the house. You are a great parent and you should know that. You do so much for me, like, you read to me, give me loves, and you’re unequaled in all ways. You are a star, the only kind [?]. You are the light in my path, too. When you pick me up from school, I feel terrific.

Sincerely, Reed

I should add that a few days ago, Reed and I were running errands together, and he was talking up a blue streak in the car with me. He was talking about his biggest fears (Chucky and Bloody Mary), and then when he had finally gotten it out of his system, he asked me sincerely, “Mom, what’s YOUR biggest fear? I mean, besides us dying.” I told him that my biggest fear was failing as a mother or wife, at the two roles I hold most dear. He said with confidence and love in his voice, “Mom, you just….you just need to put that out of your head. Because you’re not failing, and you won’t.” I countered that I will fail in some things, that it can’t be helped, and that I was afraid he would one day not remember how much I love him when he saw all my failures. He said with perfect assurance, “That won’t happen, Mom. You’re worrying about something that won’t happen. Okay?” I barely formed an answer without a huuuuge lump in my throat, but finally said, “Okay, Reed. You sure make me feel better.” I am truly in AWE of the fact that I carried that boy in my womb for nine months. I feel honored and humbled beyond description.

Day 53

Again—not the prettiest organizational makeover, but orderly and waaaay more functional than it was! Now I know where everything is, and nothing is that hard to reach. Except for the top shelf, because I’m only 5’3”. (Notice the Truffettes de France in the box behind the baking cocoa….those things are AWESOME.)

Day 52

I’ve been organizing a LOT lately with three purposes: 1) To make things easier on myself. 2) To get rid of stuff I’m not using. And 3) To blog about it! I know this isn’t as adorable or eye-candy-ish as many beautiful organizing blogs’ B&A photos, but man, I’m still smiling every time I open the spice cabinet! I know where everything is, now, and I got rid of some weird stuff, thankfully. Coming soon: my pantry, my plantry (not a misspelling), my cleaning closet, and my baking cabinet. As soon as I find the photos….I really don’t know where they are. Ghost photos.

Day 51

I realize these $30 shelves look about as expensive as they were, but let me tell you—they’re like GOLD to me! I’ve been dying to have some sort of shelving by my desk for all the various office supplies I like to have on hand, and this fit the bill (and the budget). The magazine holders and little containers are from the dollar section at Target. The rest is stuff I already had. It makes me smile every time I look over there—never mind that the rest of our “office” could use a lot of work!

Day 50

Q’s French bread recipe HERE. Money Saving Mom’s blog HERE.

Day 49

So I obviously don’t (yet) possess great food-photography skills, but this’ll have to do until I get better. This rather weird-looking bowl of goodness is kielbasa-lentil soup. It was DELICIOUS! I made it in the crock-pot and used garlic kielbasa from Costco. Mmmm…..I ate the leftovers for a week. And suffered none of the usual after-effects of eating lentils, if you know what I mean.

Day 48

Phill on Thursday the 16th, after his (eighth) knee surgery (over a period of 10.5 years). This surgery was actually much easier than all the others—partly because it was less complicated than anticipated, and partly because this surgeon gave Phill a local steroid shot to minimize swelling. A brilliant idea, if you ask us! Why didn’t all the other docs do that? Phill’s up and walking now, eventually relegated to the bed or couch, but really doing great. I’d like to say that I love this picture because he’s doing so great—but that’s not why. I love it because PHILL IS READING A BOOK! And quite a smartypants book, at that! (The Art of War) He never reads. I swooned when he came into the house with that book. I’m telling you, THAT is the way to romance me—read a book. He read a lot of it aloud to me, too, and I have to say I really never realized how complex war strategy could be. (Der….)

Day 47

For Valentine’s Day, I was inexplicably and uncharacteristically ambitious. Homemade valentine cards with the kids (37), homemade Oreo truffles, and these delicious mini cupcakes (48).

Day 46

I love outings where my boys get to be boys. At the lake, we fed ducks, poked around with sticks, found branches for pretend fishing-rods, rolled down a hill, and made lots of noise. Good stuff.

Day 45

A little about Jax:

My best sleeper (since birth)

Prefers “salad sandwiches”—meaning REAL sandwiches, with meat, lettuce, cheese, tomato, mayo and mustard. I’m telling you, Subway rocks this boy’s world.

Loves mohawks.

Thinks teenagers are SO cool and can’t WAIT to be one.

Is moved to happy tears by: babies, kittens, and teddy bears

Loves to pretend to be a rock star

Is downright belligerent when hungry/tired/thirsty

Has eyelashes so long the cats play with them while he sleeps, waking him up from time to time

Loves to help me babysit babies (holding a bottle for a baby to drink from is paradise in his eyes)

Loves to dance

Loves school

Loves going to school functions (game nights, science night, programs, etc)

Wishes his hair was jet-black

Slides down the banister’s base (with his sock-feet) instead of using the stairs

Clutches his stomach when he laughs

Wants to be a video-game-maker when he grows up

Day 44

I like this gnarly thing.

Day 43

When I was pregnant with Reed, I wondered a lot about his personality. I had a strong sense of who he was, but thought that it might just be the fanciful imaginings of an expecting mother. I was right, though, in my sense of who he was. Right in every way, which still surprises me. And—this is soooo strange, I know—I prayed that he would be at least a little weird. I really did. I prayed that he wouldn’t be boring, stereotypical, a kid who wanted to be like everyone else, or so “normal” that he couldn’t appreciate my not-normal moments or not-normal humor…..and….those prayers were answered. Not only is he delightfully weird, but he is genuine, determined, curious, intuitive, compassionate, creative, imaginative, interested, dedicated, and tireless. A miraculous blessing of a boy.

Day 42

Words fail me.

Day 41

“…Peace is what the heart of man genuinely craves...” –Confronting the Myth of Self-Esteem: Twelve Keys to Finding Peace, Ester Rasband

Day 40

These darling little purple tubular flowers were hiding in some of the dry grass on the ground. I LOVE happy little surprises like this. (Oh man. Remember that show with the painter in the 70’s? Didn’t he say “happy little surprise” sometimes when describing the things he was adding to his painting? Crap. I’m a hippie artist.)

Day 39

Oh, I adore him…..from his messy hair down to his falling-apart Converse, his giant heart and his spirit that’s too big for his body. I adore my Reed.

Day 38

I always feel inadequate and dumb when I try to describe my feelings for Phill. I just don’t think I possess the vocabulary to do my feelings justice—not yet, anyway; I’ll keep studying the dictionary.

Day 37

One time I asked my mom what is her favorite memory of motherhood. I knew it was sort of an impossible question, so I told her I’d settle for just one of countless others. She told me about a time when Liz was running home to her from the neighbor’s house, happy, with the sun on her hair and a huge smile on her face, beaming at my mom. My mom was overcome with tenderness and love towards her in that particular instance. I really feel that moments like that are so rewarding, so joyful and heavenly, that they more than make up for the monotony, the drudgery, the occasional futility, and the flat-out exhaustion motherhood can yield.

Day 36

   Though we were married on December 29, 2001, we weren’t
    sealed to each other in the temple until February 5th, 2005.
    Reed was 2; I was 3 months pregnant with Jax. We like to
    celebrate this day—which we call our “sealiversary” (I know, so
    clever) a little more fancy-like than our actual anniversary. Today,
    though, we simply went to a ward family’s house to watch the
    Super Bowl. It was fun—but I’m glad we have eternity to
    perfect our celebration-style.

Day 35

This was one of several attempts we made during FHE to get a family snapshot. I think going through the misses is almost better than finding the hit.

Day 34

I both hate and love this picture.
Hate: I feel like I look old, tired, and balding. (Wow. What a combo!) And the angle isn’t flattering.
Love: I look peaceful, the wind is in my hair, and I’m surrounded by beauty. Worth posting!

Day 33

I’m usually most struck by the smaller details in the outdoors. I love a gorgeous sky (duh, see yesterday’s post!), and I love the drama of snow-capped mountains, but I seem to be most moved by stuff like these water reeds.

Day 32

The next few photos are from our family home evening we had at Joe Pool Lake recently. Texas really is beautiful, despite its one failing (that being that it’s not Utah).